pepper.

pepper spray. after maybe 5 minutes of thought, i determined that pepper spray would be an excellent topic. i came up with two different things that could be up for discussion.

first, how does pepper spray taste? its extracted from peppers, so could it possibly double as a spice? i remember this episode of the critic [old cartoon about critic jay sherman] where this lady sprays jay, and he eats it. ok, i know that cartoons are extremely exaggerated, but still. here's some legit [in my opinion] logic: just because it burns your eyes does not mean it can't taste good; go rub some orange juice in your eye and tell me orange juice is not fuckin tasty. so, if i get my hands on some pepper spray, i'm gonna season my food and see what happens.

second, i went on wikipedia and searched pepper spray. i'm not sure how accurate the information is, but apparently pepper spray has been banned from war. i don't understand how you ban an item from war. i mean a nuclear weapon is more logical seeing as it'll fuck up the earth on a huge scale. but really, i'm at war with someone and i have pepper spray in my pocket, who's gonna enforce the no spray law. who the fuck are you to tell me not to use my pepper spray? what, is my enemy going to see my pepper spray and go "hey, that's against the rules! put that down, now!"?? no. and if he did, he would get sprayed.

blackberries.

have you ever took a flight somewhere, and near the end they say something like "we are now 50 miles from our destination. just in case we need to make an emergency landing, make sure you leave your bags on board." what the fuck? doesnt that make you expect something to happen? well we landed perfectly, and i'm just like, why mention the fact that something may go wrong when you know that nothing is gonna go wrong?? assholes.

so i got back last night, the trip was great. i love seattle. i love the clam chowder from that one grill. i love the seafood. i love the blackberries from the outdoor marketplace. the cold weather has me walking around los angeles and long beach without a jacket cuz i'm used to it being 30 degrees. i'd post pics but it seems like i took more pictures inside the hotel room than i did outside. let me kno if you have no idea what a hotel room looks like, however, and i will post some. we saw 1 cop, 4 fat people, and 11 mexicans. yes, we counted. it was fun yelling "homies over hoes!" and doin "the homie" with my friends in front of random white people. it was great playing king's cup and i never. and it was classic quoting 40-year-old virgin for pretty much two whole days. and if you're lost or thinking something perverted, "nigga, you gay." it's from boondocks; thuglicious.

mitch hedburg is great. that is all.

eagle-eye.

It's literally special ed how sleepy i am! Last night was the longest night ever. Actually yesterday was the longest day ever, period. I woke up, went to work, put nothing but cookies, coffee, and water in my body til about 5pm. I actually had a good sales day yesterday, it was spooky good. Im gettin some starbucks cards!

So i was sposed to be off at 3, but i stayed 45 minutes later cuz my co-worker was having car issues. Wasn't bothered tho, got me another gift card chicka chicka yeaa! So i get home and play rock band for a lil, then my boss calls me and asks me to sub for my co-worker so she can take care of her car. So i go. I was kinda not happy cuz i was planning to meet up with the crew at 7 so we could hit this club, but nothin was goin down there so i got over it.

After work im trying to figure out how to pass the time before we meet up to just hit hollywood. I ended up hitting the park with all the asian people and worked on my "dirty rap." after i got the call, we met up and pushed out to hollywood, club element. We paid the little 15 for parking and got in line. We kinda stood there for an hour before we got to the front only to find out it was 21 and over... Fuck me, rite? We didnt think anything of it cuz we've been there before and it was no problem, but we literally wasted a hour of our lives. Like, i still want that hour back. What's even more messed up is that when we were standing off to side all entry-denied, the lady came out of her to walk up to us to say "you guys aren't 21." ok... i know that... asshole. We tried to see what's up with this other one called level 3, but the guy that worked there couldn't even answer us when we asked how it was. You know there's a problem when the people that work at a club don't hype it up to take our money. So then it was off to ihop.

It's about 2am at the carson ihop where we always go to eat after anything. we're just like, didn't spend our money at the club, so might as well spend it here, rite? i have no idea how much time we spent there but we were hella drained and were planning on going home and knocking out. so here we are at the register about to pay for our food, and the lady tells us these girls left a number for us with her to give us after they left the parking lot... wtf? so it's like oook... but we called when we got to the car. fuck it. next stop: csulb??

so they were bored, and we were tired, but bored. so we go out to csulb to chill for a bit. on a sidenote, i got my car filled up on 20 bucks, hell yes. so after like 10 minutes of blind driving, we get to the campus. i give em a call to see where we're sposed to park, and we're getting directed around eagle-eye status, i mean cuz i don't know where they saw us from. we ended up chillin there for about an hour... like 4.. to like 5 almost 6. so on the way back to the car, there's this guy sitting at a stop sign, smoke coming from the car. it really looks like he hit an invisible wall, front hood warped up. and his car was crying. everytime he tried to start it thats what it sounded like. so we go to see if he's ok, and he says he was in a hit and run with some drunk drivers. we help him push the car into the parking lot and we're asking him questions about what happened. i think that motherfucker was drunk, and he ran into something. how else is your front hood gonna be dented? if you get hit by somebody the way he was describing [they just came around the corner], you would get hit on the side. if it was a head on collision, i'm pretty positivo that the other car would be crying like a little bitch too.

sooo yeah, long night :/

i'm tired.

and you can definately tell where i switched from phone to computer with the sudden absence of capitalization.

oysters.

hopefully its back to the studio today. i've been slacking on my writing for months already, maybe years, i dont kno. i picked up this one song from my bro that i recorded back in 2005. and you know when you look at anything you've done a year ago or more and you automatically go "gotdamn this sucks!" i did that. my delivery was garbage. so garbage that i have dedicated myself to writing the entire song over. you know that song 'paparazzi' by xzibit? yeaaa. so hopefully that goes down today.

i thought id be tired when i woke up. i was out from 3pm to 1am yesterday/last night on what you could probably relate to a long fart, sex, and gay joke. i met up with a few people from culinary school and it was pretty much like we never graduated. i really miss school now, at least that one. but god forbid anybody was actually listening to any of our conversations in the chinese buffet. i did not know oysters were so gotdamn huge! and why do their deserts always suck? it's always cookies and unripe fruit. i had the worst strawberries ever. they were freaking savory! i kno that sounds tasty but if you think so then you're crazy. food is either sweet or savory. so which one do you think a strawberry supposed to be?? fuck.

all my sympathy and regards to the people dealing with the fires yesterday but... the air smelled like barbecue! :D

citation.

i like how i kind of just put a limit on my life. i have about 45 years, tops, left to live. ive requested to about 6 people that if i get any older they need to kill me. one person relunctantly said ok, hopefully they can pull it off. ive already mentioned that i dont want to get old in another post, but my desires have grown even more of a spinal cord. today i interned at a convalescent home. i officially have a reason to die early. god forbid i end up in one of those. half of them were depressed or bed ridden. there was one guy who kept trying to ask me if i took the phone from him, wtf, who are you? and there was another guy in a wheelchair sitting at a corner, facing the same position for the whole time i was there. i was there for 5 hours. can u imagine sitting in one place for 5 hours straight?? he did not have a gameboy or ipod, fuck that. i'm probably going to hell, huh? i might try to work there though, full time job cooking job, small kitchen pretty much all to myself. lots of work, but i love the sound of it. if the petite chicas at the last hospital i worked at can i do why can't i?


coheed & cambria is officially like the sickest rock band since 2002. fuck limp bizkit. fuck soad, fuck linkin park. not really cuz i love those bands too, but seriously? check out coheed & cambria. they can literally influence you to get yourself a speeding citation. for reals, i would know. funny part is i wasn't even mad about it. weird part is my mom wasnt even mad about it.


i think im writing lyrics again, just finished a sexy rhyme to 'girls all around the world' [lloyd.lil wayne]. complete with army fatigue-like punchlines. explaining them felt like a college english class when you have a discussion to analyze elements in one of those classic books like the great gatsby or somthin. i guess im just that great :D

i'm having fun rebuilding my music collection. i got flyleaf's entire album, and they are officially my favorite female singer rock band. i got discographies from paramore, evanescence, coheed & cambria, and dragonforce. i got a couple backyard babies cd's, colbie callait [shut the hell up], a clash cd, the poison cd that has my song: talk dirty to me, and a beastie boys cd. i can't wait to learn all the lyrics to the beastie boys cd, so i can bump it on the street rapping with it. tell me that wouldn't weird you out. it seems i'm definately straying away from hip-hop... but i kinda don't need more hip-hop, i have complete discographies of nas, krayzie bone, and lupe fiasco. i don't need much more than that.

i think i'll go to church tonite, i need it.

alaska.

i learned a lot last night. negatives: people really are assholes, i'm not enough of an asshole, and i can drink as much as i want as long as i do not sit down. positives: so far i can attest to being immune to the hangover, i will actually look forward to the morning after [not talking about "sexy times"*], and i have great friends.

so i did my second bartending gig last night. it was the mansion party we had long anticipated since the last one a couple months ago. it was funny because s.p. called me while i was at work to tell me that they caught a praying mantis and put it on my bar, and to make up a drink named after the praying mantis. then they proceeded to smoke out the mantis. i'm like wtf, how random can you get?? i did the damn thing though, made up a pretty bomb drink that everybody loved. i'm not telling you what it is though, but it was a bright green mix dubbed "faded mantis." i had the bar for 3 hours, and its pretty chill, besides getting no breaks. the only thing is people tend to not have any freaking manners. i had a couple people start trying to help themselves, cuz i'm apparently just standing behind the bar for fun. i had a couple people try to bullshit me into giving them free drinks after the designated time for free drinks was over. and what's worse, i caught a couple people with their hands in my tip jar. after all this, i figure if i continue to do bartending, i need to start being more of an asshole because these kids can't seem to grasp the concept of respect. maybe next time i'll be all "if i find your hand in my jar again i will fucking murder you." serious face :| you know what else pissed me off?? i had a chicken sandwhich, which somebody bought me before the party even started. i didn't get the time to eat it, but when i went to get it around 1.30am, it wasn't there. somebody ate my gotdamn chicken sandwhich! i never get to eat before/during a party, it's my curse. next time somebody puts their hand on my food, i will kill that mofo.

you ever go to sleep in a warm house and when you wake up and it's freaking alaska in that bitch? i don't know what happened but i had a wifebeater, a shirt, and a thick jacket on when i went to sleep, and somehow they completely lost their functionality. other than that waking up was fun, i spent the night at the house with a handful of other guests and hosts and we all woke up at the same time. i thought this whole period of time was very interesting. you know how everyone gets pretty much blowed the night before, go to sleep tired as hell, then wake up 4 hours later like somebody i.v.'d a couple monster energy drinks into their bloodstreams? so we spent maybe an hour sitting around having random conversations about nothing important, and now i have this kind-of question: wouldn't you think that you'd have the most interesting conversations while your actually drunk rather than when you're not? because this morning we talked about things even more odd than during the actual party. i'm starting to think it's because when we're not under the influence, or at least not as much, we actually have the mental capacity to expand on the nonsense that leaves our mouths. it's like having a political discussion about the party but with numerous added tangents. it sounds retarded i know, but next time you go to a party/kickback and people stay the night, you stay the night too and in the morning witness my theory at work.


oh, and thanks to you guys who came out. i honestly didn't expect so many of my friends to show up. i feel appreciated :D





*credits to Dope Like Louboutins :D

calories.

let's see.

i don't know what's happening. it feels like time has been moving faster than it should. i haven't posted in 9 days, and it feels more like it's been 2 or 3 weeks. it's the third day of the week and i feel like it's already over. i think i know where this feeling comes from. the only thing is that i have two different possibilities. first, i'm tired. second, i've been thinking too much into the distant future about little things: due dates, work schedule, money. i'm liking that 'live today like it's your last' idea, but the line is very thin, making it difficult to distinguish wreckless from carefree. of course, i hold more indifference than the average bear, but it doesn't hold the same joys as being carefree. i'm not happy. at the same time, i'm not sad, angry, dissappointed. i'm bored.

looking into the distant future, however, i see good things coming. after this week my homework load won't be so overwhelming. i mean even though it's not a lot of work, i went for a year with no homework in culinary school, so it takes adjusting. i should also be getting my scholarship check from my church within the next week or two, which will reimburse the 400+ dollars i spent on this semester at school.

school is weird. i have no friends, i'm just gonna throw that out there immediately. i've always went to new schools and classes with the mentality that i'm not here to meet people, but i'm here to just do class and leave. normally i start out ok, then i end up befriending classmates or maybe even seeing someone i've already known. this situation is actually different. once again, i'm pretty much the only person my age, so even if i conversate with some classmates from time to time, i doubt i'll ever actually befriend them. normally black people end up grouping together, but i doubt i'm going to do that. there's this one chick as a matter of fact who comments on every single thing somebody says trying to make a joke or just to be an asshole. i don't know if she's trying to be funny or what, but it's gotten old and she's just coming off as ignorant. whatever. i miss culinary school. i miss highschool. people my age i could relate to and have fun with. how do i end up having to go through this?

i figured out, actually i confirmed, why i've been the same weight for the past 2 years. i'm not eating enough. i thought i ate a lot. i should keep tracking my diet to really make sure this is the case, but that's what i noticed. it's not like i'm missing just a little bit of calories, i'm missing like 40% of what i actually need. man.

i'm done with this post. i really didn't want to write rite now anyway, but i figured i'd never get around to it otherwise :/

actually, one more thing: metro station. it's funny what music i listen to sometimes. i really like this group tho, it's like pop/electro-ish, just check out kelsey and shake it.

bacteria.

la quiero this weekend.

i'm really tired rite now. i woke up at 8.30am today, after going to sleep at 5.30am today. i think many people can relate when i say i kinda want to be a bartender. i'm sure at some point in your life, you've thought about it. i don't know if you've ever had the experience before, but it is fun. it's just like cooking but it's all liquid; i honestly think i had an advantage over the situation by having culinary experience. it's probably not an obvious connection i'm trying to make, but picture it as this: in school you develop the skill to properly blend and create new flavors in a both intelligent and innovative way. i think i applied that very well to the job last nite. also, it's pretty cool to be in the position where you have to interact with everyone. sadly i remember no names besides from people i've met before, a guy named kirby, and a guy named panda. i discovered procrastinating tippers. these are the ones that swear they're gonna get you some tips, you're refilling their drink every 15 minutes, and your jar has that two dollars from before that guy even got there lol. i did get a lot of compliments however, and i think they were sincere. i mean it could of just been them saying things to be nice or to earn my respect because im technically a man of power with every drink at the tip of my hands. but i realized that wasn't too much of the case since even when i took a break and the homie filled in for me, they were tryin to get me back to work. can't wait for the next one, next month. ask about me.

i really meant "ask about it," but i was thinking about the cassidy song. where is that guy anyway? where are a lot of people? i could generate a long list of popular artists that appear to be m.i.a. right now. speaking of m.i.a., i want an english chick lol. i actually wanted to comment on kanye's "swagger like us", a sample of her song "paper planes." speaking of paper planes, i still want to see pineapple express again. i need to get that on bootleg, so any of my niggas out there, hook it up, no offense lol. speaking of pineapple express, forgetting sarah marshall (related by the type of movie and recurring characters) is coming out on dvd this month. not to mention there will be a special package released: 40-year-old virgin, knocked up, and forgetting sarah marshall. when i saw this on the target website, i literally said "back, the, fuck, up," these are all the movies i need. speaking of backing up, did i just hear bizzarre of d12 on a natasha bedingfield song?? maybe i'm the only one who thinks that's a little random if not weird. i just got three of her cds tho, i like her stuff a lot except i'm really not in the mood for uplifting, having something to say songs at this particular moment. but check out "we're all mad."

i may continue. sleepiness to me is a like a brain-dwelling bacteria that slowly ferments my short-term memory, thus preventing me from blogging about literally half the stuff i think i thought of earlier.

[edit.]

fuck it, i just pre-ordered that dvd set. should be a nice suprise, it doesn't release until the end of the month so i'm sure i'll forget about it.

oatmeal.

a growing theory of mine was proved to me today. i have to make new friends. i mean a few of the ones i have now are cool, but my aquaintances, the people i'm cool with but don't talk to often, i don't see that changing at all. my theory is that if you're a very quiet person and keep to yourself most of the time, like i was and am still growing out of, people are used to that so it's likely you don't converse or hang with them a lot. of course there are exceptions, which would count for the ones you call real friends. but what happens when you start to break out of your shell? i always thought this was the case, and reading what someone wrote today about one of my friends that share a similar personality with me reassured it: people will not adapt to your change so easily. they may find it weird that you are not the same quiet person. or they may think you are not who they know you are, so it's like you're trying to be someone else. whatever the reason, they will keep their distance from you instead of welcoming your more sociable self. i have tried to make some of the relationships i have with people better by talking more, but it doesn't work because that's not what they're used to. i'm not going to go back to being quiet just for them.. so it'll be better for me to just leave it as is and make new friends. sucks but whatever.

i'm making oatmeal rite now, well i just finished. why did i have to go online to look up how to cook this crap?? cuz it just so happens that my mom put the oatmeal in one of those containers that you put stuff in (shut up lol) and threw the box away with the instructions. i'm sorry i don't know the ratio of water to oatmeal off the top of my head.

tomorrow will be the first day this week i don't have to drive to school thank god.

market.

the left side of my body is pain. i was outside skating for the first time in forever. contrary to you may have just assumed, my body does not hurt from skating. it hurts because of my dog. i was playing with him in between practicing my ollie (cuz that's all i can really do beside that one shuv-it i did). i think he got jealous of my awesome speed when i was racing him. i say this because while i was running the second time he was behind me on my right side, then he jumps to my left and before i know it my left leg kicks into the air in front of me sending my body into a spiral straight to the ground. sadly, the falling wasn't the embarassing part; i didn't just hit the ground, the momentum in my body was built up in such a way the upon hitting the concrete, i began to roll up the small slope in the backyard. i'm not mad at my dog for being a hater though, it was fun. the fall didn't hurt but it's just that my left side stings like hell.

i like going the market. i don't know if it's because going helps you gain responsibility and you learn to recognize what you need in the house, or if it's the fact i just love food. but this whole week we had almost nothing in the house to eat, for me at least. i can't make omelettes and grilled cheese every night. last night i did make some shrimp alfredo with spaghetti noodles instead of fettucine, but it was great. but i was really limited by food choices and laziness this week. i don't really eat pork and that like pretty much the only meat in the fridge besides from some chicken that was on its third week of citizenship. and i was out of tea. but i fixed those problems today. i got a grip of pasta for emergencies like this last week, and got some more green tea so i'm good. i'm really mad though because when we were getting in line to pay this lady was doing her floaty dance in the middle of two lanes trying to see which one was going faster. so i was like hell nah and i just got in one of the lines while she was closer to the other line. she looked at me all pissed off. and i looked back at her like wtf old lady go do your floaty dance somewhere else, nobody got time for that.

procrastination is nothing to play with. because i did, school starts tomorrow and i'm not registered, i don't even know what classes i'm taking because of classes i took at trade tech. transferring is a bitch.

so i think i'm gonna start rebuilding my videogame collection. it won't be like new games, more like my personal classics. i know everybody has certain games they used to play years ago and wouldn't mind reliving that. plus they're gonna be hella cheap for the most part so y not. here's my list of collected classics so far:

-gamecube:

-soul caliber 2
-super smash bros. melee
-legend of zelda: the wind waker
-sonic adventure 2: battle
-pikmin 2

-playstation 2:

-rock band
-splinter cell: double agent
-final fantasy x
-devil may cry 3: special edition
-okami
-tony hawk's pro skater 3
-armored core 2

-playstation:

-final fantasy viii
-final fantasy ix
-final fantasy chronicles
-the legend of dragoon
-the misadventures of tron bonne

-nintendo 64:

-super smash bros.
-007: goldeneye
-perfect dark
-super mario kart 64

glasses.

yesterday was one of the better fridays, except for the morning. i woke up earlier so i could make waffles for breakfast and found out we didn't have even one egg; i had to eat frosted flakes. not that there's anything wrong with frosted flakes, but when you were planning on having homemade waffles instead frosted flakes can suck one.

i got my new glasses finally. nobody's gonna steal these while im working. well i just won't take them to work.

i had pinkberry for the first time in my life. i admit it was good, but i don't see why people treat it like it's crack. i remember when they first opened i thought it was a club or kick-it spot the way people were talking about "i gotta go to pinkberry's tonight" and whatnot. everybody's been telling me they're gonna take me and i was never enthusiastic about it. but yesterday my sis took me to the one she works at so i finally got to see what the hype was about.

you ever notice that any time u go to the beach, no matter what you do: swim, play, lay down, you always leave exhausted? i went after pinkberries with my sis and we just chilled for a bit. it was cool since i haven't seen her in a minute so we got to catch up and share stories about how stupid and/or anal and/or retarded our customers can get. all the houses at hermosa beach are all completely different. it's just crazy how freaking rich these people are/were to have their house built how they want. i want that, not to be rich, but i want to design my own house. so there's this guy that live off the beach that waters his windows, just thought i'd mention that. he doesn't have much grass to water so i guess something has to make up for it, right? i swear i saw a bear at the beach, that's all im gonna say.

forget pinkberry, in n out is crack. i passed by one on the way home and had to stop. i eat too much, except for today. i had a banana and some donuts.

i'm mad i went to a pretty good party last nite, but i couldn't get into it. i don't know if it was because my knees hurt, or because i was tired, or because it was like an oven in there. it's my homie's bday today so ushered it in the correct way. it was pretty chill tho, just next time i hope i can loosen up like normal. i like how the party migrated to a denny's 10 miles away from the spot. and it kinda sucks how when you're at the party and it's dark and whatnot so you don't really know what everybody looks like. thank God i didn't try to get a number...

i finally found out what that song was called: Spaceships In Bankhead w/ Jeezy. that mess is fresh.

lions.

[dated 07.28.2008]

so i'm writing this while my internet is taking an unauthorized nap. for some reason it feels weird typing it up on wordpad, i normally only use this program to write lyrics. i know that doesn't explain why it feels weird.

i finally washed the rabbit today. it looks beautiful, its coat is all shiny now. sad part is by tomorrow its most likely going to be dirty again. don't you hate when you're washing your car, you get to the windows and think its all good, only to find them blurred with a weird effect that turns your windshield into the fucking aurora borealis when the sun hits it?

i just got home from ditching class to hang with the homegirl. i finally saw batman. first of all, shut up. and second, you notice that nobody calls it the dark knight? i just got through telling my bro yesterday that this was one of those movies where the title has nothing to do with the actual movie, and making 'the dark knight' the last words in the movie means nothing. it was a really good movie though. i was drawn into the whole thing until batman spoke. was he that mad in the first movie? who was he so angry at that he had to use that voice all the time? morgan freeman was/is a g. i think alina is right about the penguin, and i figured out two-face pretty early and im pretty proud of that. i didn't think he'd actually appear in the movie though. after some thought, however, this movie was just like spiderman 3, the layout was. you think the movies are over at a certain point but they go on, they introduced like 12 more villains in the last 30 minutes in both movies, harry got half his face blown up and harvey got half his face burned up, and in spiderman everybody cried and in batman everybody was angry.

lions are sick. i'm talking about the band though. screw the animal, it's all about foxes, and ostriches, and rabbits. speaking of animals, i feel like a pig. yesterday i ate so much: cereal in the morning, animal-style fries (which i'm suprised didn't kill me with the cheese and all), a double meat burger, biscuits, chicken all between about 2pm and 5pm, then a veggie omelette, hashbrowns, and pancakes before i went to bed. when i woke up, my stomach was growling.

i wasnt crazy. i thought this orange juice ive been drinking all last week looked a little strange. the thing is, though, it wasnt expired. it looked kind of pastel-ish, i mean i dont know if there was too calcium in the area or what, but i didn't think it was normal. also, it didnt taste normal. but i had the hardest time distinguishing it from my memory of regular orange juice. the only reason i drank the whole carton was to get to the one my mom just bought so i could find out if i was losing it. looking at the content of my terentino-style paragraph, the result is obvious.

i don't know if you go to church or not. but is it normal for people to draw out their discussions farther than everyone knows they should? i guess at my church it is. people talk way more than they need to sometimes. im not saying the things they say or mean are wrong or bad or anything, but sometimes they go too far. it just makes them sound funny. like yesterday (although it might not be 'yesterday' since i cant post damnit!) im at church, and this lady compared humpty dumpty to how it sometimes feel like you're broken into many pieces and only God can put you back together. they way i described that was pretty simple and you get the message behind that, rite? so instead of something similar to that, this opts to tell the entire story of humpty dumpty so enthusiasticly that it turned into an epic novel, then compared it to God putting your life back together. all im saying is 5 minutes couldve been 5 seconds. sorry, i just have somthing against wasted time and pointless actions.