guten tag.

so i was going to do the 30-day letter challenge. but then i got rosetta stone instead. much better investment of time. i'm gonna learn german! then use it to say what i want, whenever i feel like it. that's what i told my mom at least. i'm really doing it so i can learn something new. i should re-sharpen my spanish skills because i't actually be useful in california, but fuck that. i like spanish but i'd rather learn something different, and i have a handful of friends that know so i can still use it every day if i need and/or want to.

black cat?

did you see what just happened?!

20 days.

20 days without a word.

it's so hard to escape.

well, my mood is acting like a little bitch again and won't stay constant. i've been starting the days off cheerful, which is good. however, halfway through work i start to not care. granted it makes me get everything done faster somehow, but it's weird. i know i never care about anything but i don't know how to describe a deeper feeling of nothing. like if you watch the first season of dexter, and apply everything he says about his personality to my own (minus the urge to kill... but not minus the destructive nature), it's getting that much closer to being spot on. i think i'm just slowly realizing it's not the best way to live i guess. i dread being at home. i really want to move out, and i've even started putting larger payments towards my car. once that debt is eliminated, i'm gone. it's not even about being independent or grown. it's so that i have a better hiding place. it's getting harder and harder to fake emotions and i'm starting to question whether i have any emotional ties with the people that i know i should. it's not that i fake relationships, but that i sometimes spare feelings to avoid letting people know how i feel as means of being polite. my mother knows i'm kind of introverted but even though i've tried to explain it to her countless times, i'm much more introverted than your normal introvert. i don't know how it must feel for someone to have one of their closest loved ones refuse to show anything. i'm sure it hurts, and it's fucked up. i need a new hiding place. i need to construct and maintain my bonds from a distance i guess. typing this out is actually very confusing; i'm not sure if i'm making my point clear or if i'm coming off too harsh or what. oh well.

on to the brighter side:

summer has started, it's relaxing not having to wake up at 5am for school. i have more summer plans than usual, which is actually just two trips. normally i just go with the flow and just end up going to the beach and partying. i went to vegas for my friend's 21st birthday. i had surprisingly good luck my first time playing craps (maybe because i'm black?), met amazing people, and invented the greatest drink in the WORLD!!! i refuse to be humble about that. next month i'm going to dc to see a paramore and tegan & sara show with one of my two east coast bff's. i want my other bff to bring her ass to la soon so we can be evil together. i'm also hoping the crew gets the ok to run this party next week. we throw amazing parties, btw. i just can't wait to bartend an event. i might take a second job just for fun once school starts again. i want to enjoy my summer nights before i give them up again.

i almost destroyed myself last week. i've been able to practice parkour on saturdays again, and i've been determined to make progress with my skills. so far so good. last week was pretty interesting though. i don't know how to explain the story without parkour terms, which you're probably unfamiliar with, but oh well, google them. i tried to tic-tac and land in a crane from a ledge to the top of a shed, and my foot slipped. somehow i caught myself before i fell although i cut my knee. normally bailing is discouraging but i tried again until i got it. there was another move that is fairly simple but for some reason i can't do it. one of our group members did a tic-tac from a wall to a reverse vault over the railing to a set of stairs. when i used to try that before i was always hesitant, but that day this guy brought some energy bars that he's been promoting and i had eaten one earlier. i don't know what the fuck was in that thing, but i was hyper and strung the fuck out so i was trying shit full-speed/confidence. end result? i tried multiple times. the only attempts worth noting were the ones in which i almost cracked my head open. once again, er.. twice again, i caught myself right before my head made contact with either the ground or the staircase railing. i must say though, i'm really impressed by my reflexes. i find it funny that at the end of the day, one of the younger kids said i'm just like a cat: i climb random things and then lay on them quite lazily. he had a point, add that to my reflexes and it makes a lot of sense.

oh, fuck 40 hour work weeks. i don't know how you people work full time.

i heart binging.

today i:

I- had the longest hangover in the history of my life.
II- realized that i binge on being an artist.
III- am bs'ing this post.

I- we played mixed drink pong last night. i went through 4 tall cups of rum+catctus cooler, rum+lemon smirnoff+cactus cooler, and lemon smirnoff+diet sunkist+pineapple juice. yes, we ran out of cactus cooler so i fabricated it with diet sunkist and pineapple juice. it was successful because i am awesome. so i forgot i started typing this post and went m.i.a. for a good 20-30 minutes [refer to item III]. although i could've just avoided revealing that and you wouldn't suspect a thing. anyway, after mixed drink pong we just started taking shots of smirnoff back to back to back to back. i think it was four times.. i had work from 10.30am-7pm. awesome, huh? i had a slightly different hangover than normal: no headache, but my stomach bailed on me. oh, i also woke up still buzzed. i've come to the conclusion that i hate my hangovers. i'd rather deal with the headache [and i don't even take aspirin, gotta man up and be a naturalist!] than not be able to eat all day. imagine working in a kitchen with no bars on how much you could eat for 8.5 hours with a stomach that rejects EVERYTHING you send it. fuck. and it lasted the entire 8.5 hours, and some. fuck!

II- i started making stencils again. i'm probably gonna stop by next week. i've maintained and abandoned this blog, what three times already? i'm probably gonna do it again. i did pokemon papercrafts in back in the winter. i have an eevee wearing the top of jolteon's head like a hat. the rest of jolteon's body is unglued, unfolded, and uncut. i'm probably not gonna start it again. this is how i found out every time i do something artistic, i'll focus a lot of attention on it, almost obsessively, for a period of time then completely drop it for a longer period of time.

III- ok, i think i lied. the plan was to make an extremely short post just for the sake of posting, but now it has all these paragraphs and shit. damn my need to be organized. goodnight.

*evil laugh*

i don't know where to begin, i'm too excited for this.

ok, so yesterday i was talking to my new favorite person in the world, krystal, about how some guy tried to hit her up on facebook chat trying to get to know her. i told her she should have went with it and creeped him out by saying she's into really weird shit, which i find more fun than just ignoring/deleting the loser. so today i had an 8 hour shift at work. and i'm sure 90% of people who work holidays know it's how slow and boring they can be, so i brought my ipod and nintendo dsi to keep me company. so in the middle of serving lunch, krystal texts me "some guy just gave me his number via fb wanna creep him out?" i'm like "fuck yes!" she sends me the number and i proceed to text this random guy pretending to be krystal (no homo?). i have to say i was quite entertained for the next three hours. here's the convo:

Me (1:12 PM): Umm. hi
Stranger (1:13 PM): Umm hi ? Lol who is this ?
Me (1:15 PM): You tell me. Who'd you just give your number to?

*trap set*

Stranger (1:15 PM): Lol. Meghan ?

gotcha bitch!!

Me (1:19 PM): Meghan huh? Nope. Typical guy i see
Stranger (1:22 PM): No. I just seen my friend Meghan and gave her my number. Haven't seen her in years. I'm sorry Krystal !!!
Me (1:25 PM): Hm. Right..
Stranger (1:26 PM): I swear. Jeez. Don't beat me up. Lol. You don't think I enjoyed our conversation last night. I just honestly didn't think you would text me. I'm glad tho.
Stranger (1:26 PM): It was weird bc I literally just gave her my number like ten minutes before you texted me. Lol. That's y I instantly thought it was her. How is your day going ?
Me (1:30 PM): Boring. I'm at work.
Stranger (1:31 PM): Awe. Well I hope you have a great time at work. When do you leave?
Me (1:33 PM): Couple hours
Stranger (1:34 PM): Ooo. Well, you know I actually thought about u a few times today. Lol. Kinda weird considering we just met. ;-)

ewww...

Me (1:36 PM): Ya, quite weird.
Stranger (1:37 PM): Lol I guess I am standing alone on that one. Lol.
Me (1:38 PM): Yeah, considering we don't know each other
Stranger (1:38 PM): Lol. Well that's alll up to you to change that.

this is the first instance where i just stopped responding.

Stranger (2:09 PM): Well I guess only if you want to.
Me (2:15 PM): Why did you send the same message twice?
Stranger (2:15 PM): Huh? I didn't? U did before tho.
Me (2:16 PM): Ok..

second instance where i was gonna stop responding, but he sends a picture message showing the text message thread where my phone had sent a duplicate message. which was a technical issue, but he ignores the fact that he sent two closely related messages just reeking of despera-eagerness(?)

Stranger (2:16 PM): Lol.
Stranger (2:28 PM): Sooo u let me know if you wanna get to know me better. Because I'm def down for getting to know you.

third time he asks. -__-

Me (2:30 PM): I'll pass.
Stranger (2:30 PM): Wow.
Stranger (2:31 PM): Is it something I did ?
Me (2:34 PM): No. Just don't find you that interesting that's all
Stranger (2:35 PM): Wow. That's kind of shallow considering you didn't even give me a chance. But hey if that's how you feel than ok. I'm plenty interesting though.
Me (2:42 PM): ok.

you know how you have a serious text conversation with someone and you send a whole meaningful paragraph and they just reply "ok."? pisses you the fuck off, right? so that's what i went for. then my coworker tells me i should've just wrote "k." i agree, that one letter would've made it so much better.

Stranger (2:43 PM): Ok. And if I wasn't so interesting then why did u text me ?
Me (2:46 PM): boredom?
Stranger (2:46 PM): Are you seriously this way ?
Me (2:48 PM): what way?
Stranger (2:49 PM): You don't think that what your saying is at all shallow ?
Me (2:51 PM): oh i do.
Stranger (2:51 PM): So why if I was nothing but nice to you ?

i didn't know exactly what to write back considering he now sounds like he's about to cry.. it is currently 8:16pm and i know what i could've said. i was thinking one of these two options:

logical response:
"well saying something like 'sooo u let me know if u wanna get to know me' was a rather bold choice of words to tell a complete stranger, like i'm supposed to automatically want to cause you said it.

realistic response (which would have been the only part of the convo that wouldn't be a lie):
"because i feed on negative emotions =)"

so after the third time ignoring him, he doesn't try to reinitiate the conversation. as funny as it was, it felt odd having that conversation with him really convinced i'm a girl from new york. i mean, my area code is 323, how do you not question that? and i'm sure my dialect was different than the "conversation [we had] last night". fucking idiot. so anyway, i'm now convinced that i am evil. best 2.5 hours ever. can't believe i got paid double-time and a half to fuck with people. *evil laugh*

language barriers.

i quit my job at radioshack on new year's eve. didn't want to drag that filthy company into the new year. only kidding. that company is filthy but i'm kidding about dragging it into the new year because i still hold no value to the "new year" because i feel if there's a change to be made, then it should be made when it's called for, not because of a new year. that's lazy and some bullshit. so now i'm solely working at kaiser, and i just transfered to work at the mental health center. so what i lack in radioshack stories i'll make up for in crazy people stories. i don't have any crazy people stories yet, so i'm just going to write about how the language barriers between coworkers have been annoying the shit out of me recently. =)

so a hospital's faculty has to take the cake in diversity; it's almost like they go scouting in other countries for employees. i mean everyone speaks enough english to get their job done, which i have no problem with. the accents i have no problem with because i can understand everyone for the most part when i'm spoken to. here's my thing: anytime i'm engaging in a conversation, and there's comes a point where i say something in contrast to their statement, based on my opinion, and they repeat the last thing they said without missing a beat. wtf, right?? they repeat themselves in a way that seems like they're convinced that i just agreed with them. in my head i'm screaming "no, you fucking idiot! i heard what you said, now stop fucking acting like i didn't say something!" it's like telling a wall to move out of my path. and unless i'm reading the look on their faces completely wrong, it's because they just don't understand what i'm talking about. i mean it's either that or they're all egotistical dicks that can't stand to have someone disagree with them, which is rather unlikely don't you think? i don't have this problem with people often, besides from one of my coworkers. it really irks me though. my solution? i've resorted to just blatantly agreeing to everything anyone says. i could care less about about their opinions or sharing my own. besides, i'm not the type to engage in pointless conversations with people who mean nothing to me anyway. which brings me to question why i bothered in the first place... *kanye shrug*

*awkward wave*

so, i haven't posted in about a year. or 11 months, whatever. i defected to twitter for a while. twitter is cool if you follow the right people. it took me a while to figure out after realizing my timeline was once an internet version of BET. recently i've been thinking of bigger ideas that i should write down, ones that can't all be compressed into 140-character statements. that made me decide to start blogging again. so when i was about to start a whole new blog, i looked at the old one and i thought to myself: i was gonna use that url.. fuck it i'll just pick up where i left off. so now i will use this blog for bigger topics, and twitter for short bursts of my thought process.

relapse.

im trying to get back into writing poetry again, even if just a little bit. that and it slows my transition into a completely unsensitive/vulcanish asshole :)

im lost in a stare and im tryin not to blink again
while the beams brush the surface of the skin
i love your shine under the starlight, others call it the sun
that's why im waitin for the clouds to run
for those rays to dash, amplify the colors in between those lashes
love it when they're framed in glasses
everytime you glance i feel a rush
cuz trust, i cannot look away, my eyes keep movin down and up
lips are lush, im in a trance every time you brush,
by, freckles pinpoint every spot i wanna touch
and im sure you got the hint, but if you must know
im tryin pretty hard to make you blush through your blush
like your eye shadow after the day's through, im tryin not to linger
never will i shadow, i just wanna take you by the fingers
and always stand to your left like it's forever 9 o'clock
cuz im willing to stop time if it means this moment i'll lock

whatever.

i'm solely posting because i haven't in months. let's see if this will me get back into the habit.

ready?...

go!

so, i was pretty much an ass today, but it was like a cool kinda ass. i wasn't mad or annoyed at anything, just didn't care i guess. i had this one guy come into the store today, he didn't speak english. that's ok, he asked me if i spoke spanish and i say 'un poquito.' so normally i say that and they try to explain what they need. what does this guy do? he says 'no.' just 'no.' as if to say 'in order to help me, you absolutely must be fluent in the language of my people.' and you know what i say? 'ok.' then proceed to sell a phone to other customers, in spanish, who were more appreciative of my efforts. and i know he heard me speaking the language of his people.

more people are coming in to buy converter boxes before the switch on friday. most of them fail to realize their coupons expire. smh. one couple in particular boosted my ego a lil. they came to get their boxes, and i offered them the warranty. the girl immediately rejects, before i even get to explain it, which happens. i don't know why, but i was like, in my head of course, 'fuck you.' i glance at her for a second, then turn to the guy; 'sir, put it like this: the warranty covers you for the year, if you add it you're only paying 22 bucks total. now say you don't add it and something happens, you're paying 60 bucks for a new box cuz you're not getting new coupons.' and he immediately said yes. looked at the girl and smirked. this chick just got figuratively bitchslapped! hahahahaha.

ok, im done.

coo coo ka-chow!

follow.. no, stalk me on twitter, yes?

search for "aeriin," so simple, no?

simpler than having me gather thoughts into the spirit bombs you're accustomed to :D

silence.

videogames are great. they are the best jesus made since 1. wine, and 2. dickie shorts [have you ever done any physical activity in them???] the only letdown of videogames is that you can't do that shit in real life.

examples:

-street fighter iv: i want to fire kick people in the face and cannon spike jaws, never gonna happen.

-final fantasy series: who doesn't want to silence their peers at a whim, or meteor them for that matter.

-pokemon: i want an eevee, end of story.

videogames are on top of the fantasy inducers along with dreams and pornography.

crimson.

so about 20 minutes ago i was speeding down the highway, windows down, chanting "crimson, and clover, over, and over" [jimmy eat world's "a praise chorus"]. i had my green tea and i was [and still am] filled with energy. i don't understand why i feel so perfect right now. i feel like every sunday should be exactly like this.

quick realization: currently, the closest we can get to teleportation is achieved by gettin drunk.

idol.

Im sitting in my car in the kaiser parking lot, hour and a half early. This is probably one of those things my coworker would tease me for, saying im not black.

Anyway, interesting week i must say [note by this week i mean starting last friday to today]. Last friday was the second official chocolate? party at the mansion. Needless to say, we threw down. Lets see, 11.30pm, the place is packed. Police even came complaining, not about the party, about the number of people there. We kicked half the people out and it got packed again shortly. Bar stayed busy as shit. We are the shit.

I think im gonna make next tuesday my last day at the hospital where my would-be-perfect-wife works, thus allowing me to start my plan :D

I may start a little section, or endless post, just to document the growing stupidity ive been witnessing. I mean, seriously: you know you're stupid when you blame a slow line at mcdonalds on the state of california. Yes, somebody said that. I know you're thinking "nobody would say that it doesn't make any sense." i assure you my friends, somebody said that shit.

I hope i wasn't one of those kids who answered the question "who do you want to be like when you grow up?". Im sure i was but today i officially retract my answer. I watch people, all the time. School, work, public places. I have yet to meet someone i can proudly say "i'd like to be like him". I mean, of course nobody's perfect, but what happened to having an idol, a hero? I have no one in my everyday life id like to be like, nor out of all those you'd see on tv. Whatever.

crosshatch

crosshatch shading? havent touched that style since highschool.

helpless.

2 weeks? 3 weeks? fuuck.

hmmm whats new...

started kaiser after a week of orientation [which means getting paid to sleep and look at pretty girls.], cant complain. not at all. my job is pretty simple, an hour of putting snacks together. lunch [which is paid for by my $7.50 a day meal card], deliver trays to patients, clean; it's worth the pay.


i missed a week of my school internship [because of kaiser]. after finally returning, some random asian [id be more specific but i dont want to be wrong] lady expressed disappointment that i havent been there for two weeks. now i probably talked to this lady for less than a minute within the first 30 minutes i got there on the first day, but i guess i can feel good that i was missed. i was even more happy i got to work with the same beautiful woman from the previous post [whom i found out was only a mere 4 years older, fuck yeah!]. that, and i landed an extra day in the week to go, i mean i do actually learn stuff there.


my manager at radioshack in on vacation, so everybody is picking up more slack. i've pretty much inherited his hours for the time being, and also his attitude i think. it's been growing more obvious that the people i help are really helpless. let's see, random customer quotes:

"this outdoor antenna, it is the kind that goes outdoors, or is that just the name of it?"

"and the mouse pad, do i have to do anything with it?" [after advising her to charge her bluetooth when she got home.]

"you have convertible boxes?" [as in, converter boxes.]


chocolate? party this friday. i used to always say id never throw parties cuz id be too embarrassed if not a lot of people show up. most of the parties that ive been to that were thrown have seriously lacked attendees, but everybody loves chocolate?.


i can't wait for my dvd :D

discomfort.

today had to be the most interesting i've had in a while. it wasn't even a good day necessarily, just really interesting.

i am officially the closest ill ever get to being in love "at first sight". at the hospital i interned at, i was working under the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. i don't know what it was about her; she wasn't magazine beautiful, she wasn't hot [no make-up, no revealing clothes], she had kind of pale skin. i don't know what it was about her, but i wish i was about 5 years older so i could marry her, cuz obviously every guy that she's met so far is fucking stupid for not doing so. i never get this excited about a girl i've seen either. usually, with my curse of being over observant, i'll easily find something about literally anybody's physical features that may stay on my mind and turn me off. i was working with her for about 3 hours and could not find a single thing. her personality was great too, laid back and calm; "not a hype chick, a girl with proper energy" [as nas would say]. omfg.

i found a pho so 1 restaraunt in hawaiian gardens. love that place.

in class today, i was sitting in the last row, this girl and another guy sat in front of me. they're friends, but as far as i know they don't have much prior history. but tell me why i happened to look under the table in front of me to see her hand on his leg? then tell me why every time i looked her hand was getting closer to you know where, until it finally got to you know where? and then tell me why, after a few minutes the guy starts shuffling himself about his seat in "discomfort"? i didn't know whether to "eww" or "woowww that just happened." i went with the latter. now i simply can't look at the girl the same way. believe me, i tried it, and i could not help but turn my head and crack a smile.

...omfg, excuse me while i reminisce about my would-be-perfect-for-me wife.

you know what would be fucking awesome??? if i had a recurring dream featuring the one from last one, with my would-be-perfect-for-me wife biting my finger instead of the other chick... man...

cat.

i had this dream. i was chilling in a room watching tv with a particular girl who will remained unnamed and un-hinted-at. the whole time she was being playful [not as far as the thoughts that may have just popped up in your head] and biting my finger. it felt just like a cat biting your finger: sharp, but not too painful. somebody walks by the room and throws something at the girl, causing her to jump and attack, all cat-like. i was kinda pissed cuz at that exact moment my phone was ringing, and i can only guess that my dream was ended that because i was fated to wake up to a ringing phone. i hate when that happens, cuz you can never go back to that same dream. no more biting... that shit was hot. don't ask, i really am starting to enjoy pain.

hmm, i was also thinking, that the particular girl in the dream seems like the type to like biting... hmmm...

remotes.

so, i think this is the most pointless conversation i've ever had on a work phone. ever. i'm going to quote the conversation to the best of my ability, complete with mind commentary [notated by "[]"]. enjoy:

[me]: thank you for calling radioshack, this is chris speaking.

lady: hi, i was wondering if i could get some information from you?

[me]: ok.

-silence-

[me]: ...about? [what the fuck...]

lady: oh, yes. well i had a question about your universal remote controls.

[me]: ok.

: ok, if a remote control is a universal one, it should be gray right?

[me]: umm, no. [wow...]

lady: oh, ok. well i have this remote that has numbers 1-4 in blue and then another 1-4 in gray and says rca at the bottom, is it universal?

[me]: i dont know, are those numbers particular functions or do you just have the numbers 1-9?

lady: it has the numbers 1-9, then the number 0 under them and a button that says enter. [so it's a regular fucking remote...]

[me]: no, it's not a universal remote.

lady: ok. well how much do you guys sell your universal remote controls for?

[me]: well the cheapest one is 7.99, and they go up to 99.

lady: what do you mean? [what do you not get about that??]

[me]: we have more than one, the price starts at 7.99, and we have one that's 99.

: oh, my. ok. i had another question: do you all sell those boxes that umm, you get the discount if you have the coupon that you need for the transition, like the converter kind? [i knew it, you're old.]

[me]: yes, we do.

: ok, how much are they?

[me]: 59.99, but if you have the coupon it's 20.

: wait, what?

[me]: ...20 dollars with the coupon.

lady: ok, say if you don't have the coupon... how much is it?

[me]: 59.99...

lady: oh ok, now do you give the coupon there?

[me]: no, you have to call the government to get it.

lady: do you know which part of the government i'd need to speak to?

[me]: there's a specific number you call... 1888.DTV.2009

lady: ok thank you, now i'm asking these things for a friend [no you are not, you're fucking retarded] and she wrote something out but it's spanish

-meanwhile, my boss is looking at me from across the room cause i've been on the phone for about 5 minutes already, and he's asking who's on the phone...-

[me]: *covering the phone* i think it's some old lady, she's just asking questions.

lady: are you there>

[me]: yes.

-she continues to talk, but my memory is foggy due to lack of interest, she was trying to figure out what something was that her "friend" wrote-

lady: it's a rf modulator, do you provide those?

[me]: yeah, they're 27.49.

lady: ok, so you have the rf modulator for 27.49, and the convertor boxes are 59.99 without the coupon and 19.99 with the coupon. then i have something here that says "7.99 to 99" [wooowwww this bitch is taking notes...], what was that about?

[me]: remote controls?

lady: oh yes. well thank you for yo....

-blah blah blah hang up.-


so, that was about the dumbest conversation i had to date. and to my luck i happened to stay about one minute after i clocked out to leave and i answered the phone again. guess who it was? i'm not going to script this one out but here's the jist of it:

she called to talk about the remotes again. and she described an old universal remote that she bought from k-mart a long time ago. it was long and gray, which i guess led her to believe that all universal remotes were long and gray. then she describes hers to be "5/6 the size of the old one" and asks "so what does that mean? is it the same remote?" wtf, rite?

then, she said she found the booklet for the remote, which said universal remote on it. again, she asked me: "so is it universal?" i replied "well if it says it is, then it is." afterwards she proceeds to read off her remote to me. every. single. button.

what. the. fuck.

back to our universal remotes; she wanted to know the difference between them. she didn't exactly understand why they're priced so differently, which is kind of understandable. i told her that we have 7 different remotes and that they all control different amounts of devices and there's one you can even hook to a computer. "ok, that's 2..." and i'm thinking to myself "what do you mean 'that's 2'?", not knowing she's expecting me to explain all 7 remotes separately. so i told her that those are the major differences and that i couldn't explain every single remote to her. her reply was : "you can't?" and i said "no." cause fuck that. then she finally thanks me and hangs up.

don't let me get old, please.

mood.

write, or eat breakfast? i think the choice i made is apparent. food can wait, besides i don't always get the motivation to actually sign on every time i visit my own page.

so, my mood has flipped completely upside-down. i guess it happened slowly, cuz it's a lot of little things that are annoying the shit out of me rite now.

i'm tired of driving around fucking everywhere doing hospital screenings for school and kaiser. i want to go to the kaiser down the street from my house and they can email that shit to hollywood, wtf.

ive been wasting this weekend. i've had opportunities to stay out late both thursday nite and last nite and they both weren't used to their potentials. i hope tonite won't follow that trend.

girls aren't exactly helping my mood either.

i think the thing that's bothering me the most is school. i'm taking 15 units, which is not that big of a deal. i do it all the time, but it seems like i have a bigger workload than normal. i don't feel like doing this rite now. i've been getting to comfortable and im not motivated at all at the moment. i feel like the people i have no respect for, that think its just fine to stay in the same place for the rest of their lives and never try to better themselves. i refuse to lower myself to that position, i just have to bitch-slap my brain until it understands that :/

[edit.] i suddenly feel better.

refurbished.

so the bridge has survived the fire. my mom brings home this cheap little prepaid, refurbished, phone that my dad apparently dropped off at my grandma's place. it's been sitting on my floor for about a week, still inside it's original liquor store bag, further secured into it's non-original, refurbished packaging. he also called the house today, so i expect another awkward [for him] conversation will soon come... anybody need a phone?

pepper.

pepper spray. after maybe 5 minutes of thought, i determined that pepper spray would be an excellent topic. i came up with two different things that could be up for discussion.

first, how does pepper spray taste? its extracted from peppers, so could it possibly double as a spice? i remember this episode of the critic [old cartoon about critic jay sherman] where this lady sprays jay, and he eats it. ok, i know that cartoons are extremely exaggerated, but still. here's some legit [in my opinion] logic: just because it burns your eyes does not mean it can't taste good; go rub some orange juice in your eye and tell me orange juice is not fuckin tasty. so, if i get my hands on some pepper spray, i'm gonna season my food and see what happens.

second, i went on wikipedia and searched pepper spray. i'm not sure how accurate the information is, but apparently pepper spray has been banned from war. i don't understand how you ban an item from war. i mean a nuclear weapon is more logical seeing as it'll fuck up the earth on a huge scale. but really, i'm at war with someone and i have pepper spray in my pocket, who's gonna enforce the no spray law. who the fuck are you to tell me not to use my pepper spray? what, is my enemy going to see my pepper spray and go "hey, that's against the rules! put that down, now!"?? no. and if he did, he would get sprayed.