remotes.

so, i think this is the most pointless conversation i've ever had on a work phone. ever. i'm going to quote the conversation to the best of my ability, complete with mind commentary [notated by "[]"]. enjoy:

[me]: thank you for calling radioshack, this is chris speaking.

lady: hi, i was wondering if i could get some information from you?

[me]: ok.

-silence-

[me]: ...about? [what the fuck...]

lady: oh, yes. well i had a question about your universal remote controls.

[me]: ok.

: ok, if a remote control is a universal one, it should be gray right?

[me]: umm, no. [wow...]

lady: oh, ok. well i have this remote that has numbers 1-4 in blue and then another 1-4 in gray and says rca at the bottom, is it universal?

[me]: i dont know, are those numbers particular functions or do you just have the numbers 1-9?

lady: it has the numbers 1-9, then the number 0 under them and a button that says enter. [so it's a regular fucking remote...]

[me]: no, it's not a universal remote.

lady: ok. well how much do you guys sell your universal remote controls for?

[me]: well the cheapest one is 7.99, and they go up to 99.

lady: what do you mean? [what do you not get about that??]

[me]: we have more than one, the price starts at 7.99, and we have one that's 99.

: oh, my. ok. i had another question: do you all sell those boxes that umm, you get the discount if you have the coupon that you need for the transition, like the converter kind? [i knew it, you're old.]

[me]: yes, we do.

: ok, how much are they?

[me]: 59.99, but if you have the coupon it's 20.

: wait, what?

[me]: ...20 dollars with the coupon.

lady: ok, say if you don't have the coupon... how much is it?

[me]: 59.99...

lady: oh ok, now do you give the coupon there?

[me]: no, you have to call the government to get it.

lady: do you know which part of the government i'd need to speak to?

[me]: there's a specific number you call... 1888.DTV.2009

lady: ok thank you, now i'm asking these things for a friend [no you are not, you're fucking retarded] and she wrote something out but it's spanish

-meanwhile, my boss is looking at me from across the room cause i've been on the phone for about 5 minutes already, and he's asking who's on the phone...-

[me]: *covering the phone* i think it's some old lady, she's just asking questions.

lady: are you there>

[me]: yes.

-she continues to talk, but my memory is foggy due to lack of interest, she was trying to figure out what something was that her "friend" wrote-

lady: it's a rf modulator, do you provide those?

[me]: yeah, they're 27.49.

lady: ok, so you have the rf modulator for 27.49, and the convertor boxes are 59.99 without the coupon and 19.99 with the coupon. then i have something here that says "7.99 to 99" [wooowwww this bitch is taking notes...], what was that about?

[me]: remote controls?

lady: oh yes. well thank you for yo....

-blah blah blah hang up.-


so, that was about the dumbest conversation i had to date. and to my luck i happened to stay about one minute after i clocked out to leave and i answered the phone again. guess who it was? i'm not going to script this one out but here's the jist of it:

she called to talk about the remotes again. and she described an old universal remote that she bought from k-mart a long time ago. it was long and gray, which i guess led her to believe that all universal remotes were long and gray. then she describes hers to be "5/6 the size of the old one" and asks "so what does that mean? is it the same remote?" wtf, rite?

then, she said she found the booklet for the remote, which said universal remote on it. again, she asked me: "so is it universal?" i replied "well if it says it is, then it is." afterwards she proceeds to read off her remote to me. every. single. button.

what. the. fuck.

back to our universal remotes; she wanted to know the difference between them. she didn't exactly understand why they're priced so differently, which is kind of understandable. i told her that we have 7 different remotes and that they all control different amounts of devices and there's one you can even hook to a computer. "ok, that's 2..." and i'm thinking to myself "what do you mean 'that's 2'?", not knowing she's expecting me to explain all 7 remotes separately. so i told her that those are the major differences and that i couldn't explain every single remote to her. her reply was : "you can't?" and i said "no." cause fuck that. then she finally thanks me and hangs up.

don't let me get old, please.