reasonable.

so far, so bad. i hate today, and i'm hoping the next 3 hours and 40 minutes will save my opinion of new years eve, 08.

i woke up today at 8.30, and was my zune was frozen. it's still frozen. this means i have to burn mix cds and touch my dash board more often. this needs to be changed before i start school again and skate back forth from parking lots to class. i need a new zune or a new ipod, or a techie jesus.

i think being mad at my zune and immediately cursing the entire day led to me being extremely irritable for its remainder. you how they say you can speak or will things into existence? im pretty sure i did that. i pretty much wanted to slap 90% of the customers i dealt with today. i really hope that it was just one of those days where everybody's a dumbass and i'm acting perfectly reasonable, but i doubt those days even exist.

now it seems like the majority of my friends are asking me about party info for tonite. normally it feels pretty cool, everybody waitin on you and you pretty schedule whats goin down. rite now, however, i'm a lil annoyed, and a lil confused on what to do. i could easily hit up several kickbacks, or even a club. but im not in the mood really. im kinda down to house party. i'm not even sure if i want to drink now. damnit.

accent.

yesterday was pretty chill. went to work, and me and my boss pretty talked the whole time about random stuff. you know how like normally your boss doesn't want you standing around all the time doing nothing? we did nothing for my whole 4 hour shift. basically talked about random stuff, like which actresses are really hot and other things. i think i figured out why i like hispanic girls so much: it's the tone in their voice. im not talking about the accent, but a lot of them have a really gentle [?] voice thats really easy to listen to. and of course the accent tops it off and adds the sexy. my favorite accent, however, is english. whew... another thing i was thinking about, due to being told that i have an old soul, do you think that would have any kind of effect on people my age understanding me, or even hinder me from making a connection in relationship situations with someone my age? i doubt it, and i definitely don't want to make it an excuse, but could it be something to think about?

i finally took a trip to michaels art supply store! ive been meaning to pick up some poster frames for these prints i bought from a friend and a drawing i did. i also got the last piece of my airbrush set, so i should be starting my practice soon, and immediately following, more art. im really happy i could finally hang up these pieces tho, especially the ones from 3satva [http://www.myspace.com/3satva]. check out his page and look for the pieces 'deluge' and 'xochitl', which are proudly, and fucking beautifully, hanging on my walls. the piece i did is of an anime character 'c.c.' of code geass, black and white in ink.

i also finally got to see 'zack and miri make a porno.' i think its just one those things i have to do: see anything with seth rogen, or produced by kevin smith or judd apatow. it was playing at the 3 dollar movies, and i had nothing planned after work, so i went. it was pretty short, but it was a good movie. it actually gets better the more i think about it. and the weird thing is, this movie makes me want to find love more than any other movie has. i mean you look at the title and you're probably like, 'what the fuck are u talking about?' but if you've seen it, please tell me you know how i feel, or least you have an idea how i feel. it's probably just because miri [elizabeth banks] is freaking hot, especially in this movie, and i secretly wanna hit that. i also think it's because while they're filming all the scenes everyone is actually having porn sex, and when it gets to zack and miri, they end up making love, so its kind of a sharp transition. the song they play the minute they start makes it even more powerful. live - hold me up. check it out. this band can actually be a separate post in itself as im currently listening to their other songs. wow.

skills.

i got ran over by a motorized wheelchair. it didn't hurt, it just diminished my spirits. i mean, who wants to be run over by a wheelchair? thats what happens to losers. supposedly im going bowling in northridge for 50 cents... that makes no sense to me, but we'll see what happens.

this weekend was pretty interesting. i went to simi valley friday nite for this lil xmas get together for my church's youth group. simi valley is freaking weird, there are so many heavy concentrations of houses, and hardly any businesses unless u take the time to look for them. that, and it was 30 somethin degrees out there. i guess i should get used to that since i plan on going to washington next month, in exactly one month. saturday we randomly threw a kickback, which resulted in another nite of no sleep. i died on sunday.

i realized that all trace of me ever having 'game' has faded away from the surface of the earth. i think in maybe the 9th and 10th grades, i was actually into talking to whatever girls and trying to get numbers or get a girlfriend. gradually i stopped giving a damn, like it's really not my focus nor a priority. i mean of course id like to have the company at times, and that feeling is slowly growing more and more. but what the hell do i do now? i have no more skills! damnit.

i started using google chrome. its a new internet browser, to my knowledge at least. i like it. i was using aol explorer, after using mozilla firefox, but this one is probably the best yet. it looks nice, anytime you open a tab, it shows thumbnails of pages you always go to so you can revisit with a click. and one of the better yet not-so-noticeable features is in the navigation bar: you kno how when you type where you wanna go, and the list falls down under it, and you press enter when you see the site you want, and it doesn't go anywhere because you realize too late that you never selected it? chrome actually puts out full website addresses as you type, so if you press enter like a dumbass, you wont feel like a dumbass because you'll actually be somewhere. try that ish!

i guess i should finally thank my procrastination. i started writing what was supposed to be this post last nite while i was at this xmas party. instead, i got bored and said 'nevermind i dont even care.' seriously, if i wouldve posted last nite, it wouldve been shit.

scar.

so i have 6 minutes left in my break, and i feel like blogging. of course i immediately forgot all the things i had thought of to write about in the past couple days so i will attempt to just keep on typing and maybe maybe something sensible or interesting will appear in writing.

i think im getting closer to confirming the people i will remain friends with for the times ahead. i still think im too nice, but at the same time im such an asshole. i think it just happens to be in alll the wrong places. so maybe if i start being meaner where im too nice and nicer where im not, things will be great? let's try it.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm i got this scar last nite on the palm of my hand. i could probably make up a cool story to substitute for the retarded truth that actually did occur. to put in short i was outisde in socks tryin not to step in rain-drenched grass and i hit a tree. now if i was drunk thatd be a good story.

here's what im gonna say: i was temporarily left-handed and i got caught up in a knife fight. after circling my opponent a few times i said "ef this!" and grabbed his knife with my right hand and went to work on that mofo! i like that story :)

void.

so i just got through telling my cousin how i refrained from using the word "grazi" because a small part of denied its existence. and now, of course, i feel a little stupid, un poquito. i feel like those people who will say random stuff, like "i don't believe in sugar." and i've heard someone say "i don't believe in guys." i mean what else can you say but "well i'm sorry, but they exist," while pointing at the thing in question?

so, suddenly i'm feeling a small drive to get my art out into the world. whether it be my writing, my cartoons, my clothes, whatever. i feel like producing more, making connections. maybe i'm growing up a little bit. i wonder how long this will last...

my birthday is next month, no longer will i be a teenager. i feel like 20 is going to be a year living in a desolate void. it's the only year that you're still limited but you can't be referred to as a teenager. it's like, 21 is the first year where you have no restrictions due to age, unless you want to run for political office, and how many people are gonna do that? being a teenager is like, ok, you're almost there, but at least you have a category for the time being. what the hell is 20??? we should start a petition to lower drinking and gambling ages to 20! not that i expect you guys to care because the majority of you are already of age :/

[edit.]
i love how i'm completely oblivious to my school schedule. i'm pretty sure this is my last week before break, but i really have no clue.

april.

why the hell do i need a 16-month calender??

i mean the most obvious reason i wouldn't need it is that there's 12 months in the year, rite?

but also,

who's gonna look at a calender in october and go up to april like "oh yeah, let me save this date," or "what day is april fool's?" all i'm saying is, nobody's gonna care about april until march, maybe february. maybe. it's a waste of time. i like how i didn't know how to spell february, i swear i'm getting retarded.

and one more thing, if i get a calender that goes to next april, then it would be a waste to buy a whole calender for that year. like, i'd literally be wasting %25 of the calender price because i already know about jan through april, so i wouldn't be backtracking. especially with the condition our economy is?? hellll nahhh. man, i am bored.

make a 24 month calender, that shit would be active.

suicidal.

why do i feel like i have the most retarded dreams??

last week i woke up after an adolescent girl running away from a religious cult of monks, evading a myriad of pursuers. she's tired of living a lifestyle being forced to believe things that everyone claims as a reason to have faith; she needs her reason, or she won't believe. her brother feels abandoned and sets out to find her for his own fear of remaining alone.

weird, rite? i'm thinkin i'll make an illustrated story out of this.

sunday morning i had little mini-dreams of stuff that should happen in the very near future. i wake up, and as im laying there my mom comes in to check on me. then, i really wake up, and my mom comes to check on me. except i'm like, didn't u just come in here???

i don't think i'm gonna end up goin to washington dc. haven't really heard anything about it since the first mention, and i'm already making plans to head up to washington state for a mini-vacation in the most suicidal city in... the country? iono. pero lo siento buddy :/

wave.

guy: hey, do u have a rubberband?
me: no.
guy: a rubberband???
me: nope.
guy:...alright. [walks out]
me: this nigga is really gonna get mad cuz i don't have a rubberband??

i have the best job ever.

so i worked on thanksgiving. best idea i ever agreed to. i just don't like waking up on a holiday and doing nothing. those tend to be the most boring mornings ever, at least at my house. and i didn't particularly feel like cooking, so work was the easy way out. i'm just mad that people apparently had the same idea of not staying home, i was expecting the day to be completely slow. it was ok tho, saw about 4 movies, only 2 i remember at the moment: back in the day, and dirty dancing. i've never seen dirty dancing before even tho the movie is older than me, but i'm in love with jennifer gray 20 years ago. right now she's not so hot, but back then, hell yes. i was trying to find out what other movies she was in back then, and heard about 'ferris bueller's day off.' so i was like 'ok, ima get this movie on dvd or somthin.' and with my luck, it came on tv today while i was at work but i missed the whole first hour :(

black friday was pretty weak, [funny how i can only think of discriminatory reasons that they'd call it black friday] i woke at up 4 somthin in the morning to go to work. i was prepared from last year's experience of a 6 hour non-stop wave of customers. this year, however, i had to deal with a non-stop wave of customers that lasted 30 minutes. so i'm pretty sure the few hours i spent standing around could've been substituted by sleep but hey, what can u do?