indifference.

so rite now im tryin to watch 40-year-old virgin. i've never seen the movie all the way through, so why not tonite u kno? only problem is that i'm streaming it and it's taking it's sweet time. so i have to pause it and let it load more, not to mention it's broken into 3 videos so that's more waiting. but at least the down time is making me blog.

"just come back". comment from my last post by diamondsr4eva. oh, i came back :D. i wrote a couple verses to Nas' Hero track, and i love myself for it. i'm thinkin i'll post it soon. or when me and my bro record over the beat, i'll post that. either or. it feels good tho when u've stopped somthing for a while, then all of a sudden you start again and you're almost on a different level if not just as skilled. not tryin to be cocky/full of myself, but that's just how it feels. i'm sure u've been there before.

i have to watch that Black in America thing that was on CNN. my mom recorded it while i was at school and she told me i need to watch it. i knew about beforehand but i'd forgotten the date, so at least it's there. honestly tho, as much as i kno i probably should watch it, i don't really want to. i'm not as interested as i should be. i probably won't change the way i live after watching it. even if it changes the way i think, it probably won't be for too long. i'm not an informed person. i don't watch the news, i don't follow politics. "i guess i'm dead cuz i ain't listen to Diddy" or Puff, however that Lupe quote goes. i'm just full of indifference. i don't need stuff to worry about. i just want to live. this is the one subject i hate conversating with adults about. they believe i need to stay informed, that i need to exercise my right to vote. i understand the importance, the consequences, and the reasons behind it. i just can't force myself to.. care. as insensitive as it may sound: i didn't ask anybody to fight for my right to vote, so y guilt trip me about what you heard that people went through. i don't expect u to agree with me or even respect me for that but that's what's in my heart. besides, it's a right to vote, meaning it's a choice, an option available to me. let me choose.

also i've been thinking that niggas needa calm down about cops lol. i know we've all had some bad experiences. i mean people must be on one to think cops have no purpose but to bring you down. u really think they care about ur being that much to sit around and try to catch you fuckin up? come on now.. i know that some cops do focus on certain people and hope they get a good catch, their mama's never taught them respect, they grabbed your balls, whatever, but honestly, every single cop u have met has not been a total asshole, and if you really believe that i think u have something to do with it. i mean it's the same thing as someone who has a problem making friends with a certain group of people. when girls say the guys they date are all the same. i've heard many times that you affect what comes into your own life. your tounge can create, and your mind has a magnetic power. i only really started thinkin about cuz damn near every rapper has to throw "fuck the cops/police" in an album. i mean i don't hate cops, nor do i support everything they do. i have my indifference as usual. i guess i'm just puzzled as to why people put so much time into pointless things like that. shoot me.

i just know there was more to write but now i can't remember :/
o well, back to 40-year-old virgin.. which has only loaded half of the first third of the movie damnit!!