citation.

i like how i kind of just put a limit on my life. i have about 45 years, tops, left to live. ive requested to about 6 people that if i get any older they need to kill me. one person relunctantly said ok, hopefully they can pull it off. ive already mentioned that i dont want to get old in another post, but my desires have grown even more of a spinal cord. today i interned at a convalescent home. i officially have a reason to die early. god forbid i end up in one of those. half of them were depressed or bed ridden. there was one guy who kept trying to ask me if i took the phone from him, wtf, who are you? and there was another guy in a wheelchair sitting at a corner, facing the same position for the whole time i was there. i was there for 5 hours. can u imagine sitting in one place for 5 hours straight?? he did not have a gameboy or ipod, fuck that. i'm probably going to hell, huh? i might try to work there though, full time job cooking job, small kitchen pretty much all to myself. lots of work, but i love the sound of it. if the petite chicas at the last hospital i worked at can i do why can't i?


coheed & cambria is officially like the sickest rock band since 2002. fuck limp bizkit. fuck soad, fuck linkin park. not really cuz i love those bands too, but seriously? check out coheed & cambria. they can literally influence you to get yourself a speeding citation. for reals, i would know. funny part is i wasn't even mad about it. weird part is my mom wasnt even mad about it.


i think im writing lyrics again, just finished a sexy rhyme to 'girls all around the world' [lloyd.lil wayne]. complete with army fatigue-like punchlines. explaining them felt like a college english class when you have a discussion to analyze elements in one of those classic books like the great gatsby or somthin. i guess im just that great :D

i'm having fun rebuilding my music collection. i got flyleaf's entire album, and they are officially my favorite female singer rock band. i got discographies from paramore, evanescence, coheed & cambria, and dragonforce. i got a couple backyard babies cd's, colbie callait [shut the hell up], a clash cd, the poison cd that has my song: talk dirty to me, and a beastie boys cd. i can't wait to learn all the lyrics to the beastie boys cd, so i can bump it on the street rapping with it. tell me that wouldn't weird you out. it seems i'm definately straying away from hip-hop... but i kinda don't need more hip-hop, i have complete discographies of nas, krayzie bone, and lupe fiasco. i don't need much more than that.

i think i'll go to church tonite, i need it.

delete.

i have a dare for you. delete your music collection.

there's been a couple times where i've had huge music collections on my computer. and what happens is that for whatever reasons my computer crashes and i have to get a new one or restore it, thus causing me to lose amounts of music that can be played non-stop for about 2 weeks straight. the thing is, however, that everytime i've had to rebuild my collection, it came back better than ever. so i feel like doing it again, cept it'll be my fault this time. you should try it though. i'm pretty much gonna delete everything but about 10%-15% of my total which will compensate for the songs i kno i'll never find again, and my instrumentals. should be fun.

fuel.

i think i'm ready to start over. with everything. i've already started a new school, i'm supposed to be getting a new job, so why not start everything else over. i'm really thinking of severing ties to virtually all my old aquaintances/friends. of course there's a handful i'd still chill with, but other than that i'm failing to see the point of the others being in my life. i mean these are people i hardly talk to, and rekindling old relationships does not work. it's not my style to randomly hit people up when i need a favor, so do you see a point? i really think im at the end of a three-way road, the light is green so i have to hurry and pick the next road to drive down. i need to meet new people, try new things. these thoughts are really random. like, i randomly feel unappreciated, and it's fueling most of my drive to say and consider these things. the rest of that fuel would be provided by the notion that it'd be fun to sever myself from the world. maybe i should delete or change passwords to myspace/facebook. maybe i should get out bed and do some interacting with the world so i wont feel so negative. i kinda wanna blame this on nick and nora's infinite playlist; i saw it last nite and for some reason i'm jealous. it was like the movie brown sugar, where people fall in love mostly through the influence of music. this is kinda one of the things i want. fuck this sounds gay.

alaska.

i learned a lot last night. negatives: people really are assholes, i'm not enough of an asshole, and i can drink as much as i want as long as i do not sit down. positives: so far i can attest to being immune to the hangover, i will actually look forward to the morning after [not talking about "sexy times"*], and i have great friends.

so i did my second bartending gig last night. it was the mansion party we had long anticipated since the last one a couple months ago. it was funny because s.p. called me while i was at work to tell me that they caught a praying mantis and put it on my bar, and to make up a drink named after the praying mantis. then they proceeded to smoke out the mantis. i'm like wtf, how random can you get?? i did the damn thing though, made up a pretty bomb drink that everybody loved. i'm not telling you what it is though, but it was a bright green mix dubbed "faded mantis." i had the bar for 3 hours, and its pretty chill, besides getting no breaks. the only thing is people tend to not have any freaking manners. i had a couple people start trying to help themselves, cuz i'm apparently just standing behind the bar for fun. i had a couple people try to bullshit me into giving them free drinks after the designated time for free drinks was over. and what's worse, i caught a couple people with their hands in my tip jar. after all this, i figure if i continue to do bartending, i need to start being more of an asshole because these kids can't seem to grasp the concept of respect. maybe next time i'll be all "if i find your hand in my jar again i will fucking murder you." serious face :| you know what else pissed me off?? i had a chicken sandwhich, which somebody bought me before the party even started. i didn't get the time to eat it, but when i went to get it around 1.30am, it wasn't there. somebody ate my gotdamn chicken sandwhich! i never get to eat before/during a party, it's my curse. next time somebody puts their hand on my food, i will kill that mofo.

you ever go to sleep in a warm house and when you wake up and it's freaking alaska in that bitch? i don't know what happened but i had a wifebeater, a shirt, and a thick jacket on when i went to sleep, and somehow they completely lost their functionality. other than that waking up was fun, i spent the night at the house with a handful of other guests and hosts and we all woke up at the same time. i thought this whole period of time was very interesting. you know how everyone gets pretty much blowed the night before, go to sleep tired as hell, then wake up 4 hours later like somebody i.v.'d a couple monster energy drinks into their bloodstreams? so we spent maybe an hour sitting around having random conversations about nothing important, and now i have this kind-of question: wouldn't you think that you'd have the most interesting conversations while your actually drunk rather than when you're not? because this morning we talked about things even more odd than during the actual party. i'm starting to think it's because when we're not under the influence, or at least not as much, we actually have the mental capacity to expand on the nonsense that leaves our mouths. it's like having a political discussion about the party but with numerous added tangents. it sounds retarded i know, but next time you go to a party/kickback and people stay the night, you stay the night too and in the morning witness my theory at work.


oh, and thanks to you guys who came out. i honestly didn't expect so many of my friends to show up. i feel appreciated :D





*credits to Dope Like Louboutins :D

mantids.

i talk too much.

it feels good though, you know, to have something to write about for three days straight. and i don't think the streak stops after this. tomorrow i'll have something to blog about, same with saturday. only thing is that i probably won't have time to write on saturday, but whatever.

i was feeling pretty crappy last nite, i'll explain in tomorrow's post. but today i feel a lot better. the day went overall well even though i still have 6 hours and 56 minutes to fuck it up. everything kind of resolved myself, and now i don't have an overload of my own seemingly heavy thoughts.

my "seth rogen from kung fu panda"'s hatched finally. i thought i'd be waiting until spring, but guess not. i have yet to see them fight but i see some bodies laying around.

i was thinking about how i don't want to grow old again. i know i sounds weird but i'm just not feeling it. of course i'm happy for everyone who's made it 50+ years, but as of right now, it's not for me. maybe in a few years i'll actually look forward to living a long life with grandchildren and convalescent homes. but for now i'm thinking of making it to about 40-45 years, then i'll invest in that ostrich or other potentially dangerous animal i've always wanted. then someday, in reference to me, someone will say "things happen," and make this face: =/

i like this quote: "and believe me, in every man there's a code written that says: tackle drunk bitches.' [40-year-old virgin] i have a mission for next wednesday damnit! only i'm not after a literally "drunk bitch", or a "bitch"... ok fuck it nevermind.

watermelon.

so i lied. im going to blog today instead of tomorrow, or maybe ill do both. my reason for writing today was put on by this dream i had last nite. i have wierd dreams simply put. but this was fucked up. not bad fucked up but like i took pcp and went to sleep fucked up. i probably forgot half of it though but here's what i remember:


i'm at some random social event which was located at 32nd usc magnet, my old middle school. but it wasn't the school; instead of the concrete and rails and building, there were white fences and grassy hills. gay right? i was more focused on the shrine auditorium down the street so thats how i know where i was. so there were a lot of black people there conversing about this and that. meanwhile, im running and jumping around like a little kid, i felt short too so im guessing i literally was a little kid. so after my immature free running session i end up outside of the gay school area and im running down the street. i finally come up to this hansel and gretel-esque house that has, instead of candy, has a lot of different fruits growing in the front yard. there's like bananas, apples, grapes, watermelons, mangos, etc. i continue walking and i see this bright, full-colored watermelon, and i could tell it was going to be the best watermelon ever grown. so for some reason, i have to have it. so i snatch it off its vine and start running like crazy back to my car around the corner from the shrine. now that i think about it i feel like a squirrel instead of that little kid from before that little heist. you know squirrels hoard their food in the jaws? i did that with a freaking watermelon, except i started to eat it too. the rind was really thin though, but it was the best watermelon ever grown. now as it sinks in, im thinking about it, and why the hell did it have to be a watermelon? of all the fruits growing at that house i had to pick up that one. i really like mangos more. i like bananas more, as long as they're green still. maybe my subconcious pcp-influenced mind wanted to remind me that im still black. anyway, my second dream wasn't as weird but i didn't like it because it ended with me getting cockblocked twice :/


question: ever wonder what your body or the environment around it is doing during your sleep and how it influences your dreams? after last night i'm really curious.

charger.

so i either slowed down or time has went too fast. i def need to keep up with my posting. i think i have a lot to talk about, or at least i think i have a lot i could talk about. who knows.

i haven't told a radioshack story in a minute, so maybe i'll start with a couple. i think it was last week when i witnessed the most ignorant guy, in existence, in action. so i'm probably standing around doing nothing, my boss is talking to this lady about her phone or somethin. so, this guy walks in almost yelling "i need to pay my bill!," completely interrupting the ongoing conversation. my boss points out that he was in the middle of a conversation so the guy says "ok fine i'll come back when somebody else is here," you know, cuz i'm obviously a ghost and shit. so the lady is nice enough to let him get his bill paid, but the whole time my boss is trying to find out everything he needs to know about what's being paid for, because contrary to popular belief, we have like 5 different bills that can be paid there. i mean seriously people get mad when i ask "what kind of bill are you paying?" and they reply with an attitude "radioshack, what else? this is radioshack right?" and then i reply "we can pay your [nigga phone], the radioshack credit card, dish network, sprint, and reload prepaid credit cards [you stupid asshole]." and yes, i just couched that quote, because i didn't say that exactly. and yes, i got A's in english class. anyway, the whole time this guy is yelling while my boss is calm and talking to him. finally, my boss goes "look, i'm trying to help-" "look man i just wanna pay my bill!" exclaims ignoramus (remind me not to use that word again, i don't like it). so my boss gives him back the money, tells him to leave and have a good day. i'm thinking this guy could not already get any louder, but he pretty much explodes and gets all gangster and in his face yelling stuff like "you little bitch!" and "you fat motherfucker!" at this point, we both start to laugh a little at his reaction, and like always, this seems to excite them a little more. i think the funniest thing this guy yelled was asking what time my boss got off work and following that up with "i'll lay you out in this parking lot." finally he leaves and we can hear him maybe a block away still expressing his ignorant feelings. i kinda feel sorry for the guy that was with him; you could tell this guy had some sense, so imagine having to walk around with a stupid fuck like that guy all day.

saturday was interesting too. i'm at work and this girl comes in and tells me how her phone died and she needs me to charge it for her so she can call her friend to get picked up. so we don't charge peoples phones because of responsibility issues if something were to happen. i tell her i can't charge her phone. and she says "well if i were to buy the charger, cash and everything, could you charge it a little bit?" and i say no. so she says she wants to buy the charger anyway, so i go to look for the charger. unfortunately we sold out of the chargers, so i try to explain that to her. so i'm thinking she understands that, then she asks if there's something that can charge her phone while she's walking. we do have that, but it's also sold out. so i tell her unless she wants to go to another store to pick it up then there's nothing i can do. so she asks if i could check if we have any more chargers, cuz i didn't just tell her we sold out. then she reverts back to the "so if i were to buy it cash, you're gonna tell me that you don't have a charger." and i revert back to "we sold out." then she takes a couple more steps back into the convo and asks if i could charge her phone. and i proceed with "how [the hell] am i going to charge your phone if i don't have the charger to even sell to you?" aaand then we spend like 30 minutes repeating the same questions and answers in little circles. i swear the conversation looked like the freaking olympic games logo. i'm wtf, are you really that retarded??

that chick from 40-year-old virgin is hot. trish's daughter, you know. i'm watching it right now for the second time all the way through, i think just because i can. i've been saying "for sho" just because of steve carrell. i used to hate that saying.

i've been drawing a lot lately. thursday night i stayed up til 5 in the morning drawing a picture of 'seras victoria' of the hellsing manga. saturday nite and all sunday i drew and inked 'c.c.' of the code geass anime. google em since you probably have no idea who the hell i'm talking about. anyways, my drawings came out sexy. i'm proud of myself. i need to get one of them framed so i can hang it up and show off a lil.

i have more to talk about, but i'll wait til about thursday. it'd be better that way.